Waiting for the penny to drop by Felicity Fox

In for a penny, in for a pound…

“Mummmmmy, I swallowed a penny?”

“What?”

“I’m going to dieeee, I just swallowed a penny!” I was doing a magic trick, and ….”

“What?” (That’s my answer to everything)

“It’s stuck inside me.”

“What?”

“The penny, the penny’s stuck.”

“DAD!!!!” (Another typical response)

“He’s swallowed a bloody penny.”

“There’s blood.”

“No blood, a bloody penny. Get down here.”

“Phone someone?”

“Who?”

“NHS 24, they”ll know.”

“Hello, can I speak to someone, my son’s swallowed a penny.”

“Is he breathing?”

“Yes, oh I see what you mean.”

“One moment please…”

“You shouldn’t have swallowed that bloody penny, you could have died!”

“Am I going to die?”

“No, but you could have.”

“I’M DYING!” (Whaling)

“No, you’re not dying but swallowing pennies doesn’t help.”

“Sorry, where were we?”

“Have you checked all his vital airways?”

“Yes” (though he’s not a plane)

“He’s going to have to expel it.”

“I’d expel him, I’m going to bloody kill him.”

“He’s going to have to expel it, watch his stools for the next 24 hours.”

So we’re watching and waiting, playing paper, scissors, stones, and waiting till the penny drops. The first expulsion didn’t go too well, searching for the penny takes a parents’ love to new heights.

Life is sometime shite, pardon the pun.

And we can’t wait to see the magician’s show.

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