It’s been the summer of weddings, not mine but others. I’m at that age when everyone is getting married. They’re climbing the career ladder, got the right car, got a mortgage, tick, tick, tick and now they’re ready to say I do, just in time before they look back with regret at their wedding pictures. I, on the other hand, got married more than seven years ago, when I had not a wrinkle to my name or a stretch mark. As a guest, I now get to sit back and enjoy the festivities, whilst relishing in the thought that I’m not paying.
After careful planning, accessorising, and far too much matching, I’m always amazed at how many get it wrong time and time again.
Religious or not, if you’re attending the ceremony early afternoon don’t mistake church lighting with that of a nightclub. God doesn’t want to see you in all your glory, some things should remain between you and your maker. If you must flaunt it, wear a tailored coat to the ceremony. It’s much more dignified. And remember if people are gawking at you, it’s not in awe, it’s in horror.
Staggering in six inch heels up the altar is never a good look. So if you can’t make it to the car then be in no doubt, you will be mocked. Birds nests’ too are hard to pull off. If you think it’s too much, well it probably is. Remove promptly, less is definitely more. Styling yourself on the likes of the TOWIES or wags, never has or will, earn you many admirers. Think of all the great heroines who’ve done all the hard work for you: Audrey Hepburn, Katherine Hepburn, Jackie O, Grace Kelly to name a few – oldies but goodies. Would they have ever slapped themselves in Fake Bake? I think not. Decide on a look, 20s, 30s, 40s, and my favourite the 50s but most definitely not the 80s. Don’t forget who was running the country then, and she was hardly known for her fashion, she was far too busy crippling the country.
One must never wear leggings to a wedding or, in fact, outdoors. Leggings have made a comeback but unless you’re pregnant or under the age of five, there really is no excuse. Big or small these are the most unflattering, cheap and pitiful garment you can attach to your body.
Looking like you’ve been licked with a paint brush from the top of your head to the tips of your toes is quite simply wrong. You’re in danger of looking like the Queen Mum, showing you lack imagination as well as style. Like make-up, feature the eyes or the lips, never both. This rule should apply for accessories too. And yes, we all make mistakes but there’s no need to go on repeating an eyesore.
Do not buy a complete outfit from an over eager sales assistant who is lying when she tells you that ‘you look great’. She is lying. Mix it up a bit, live a little. Go wild, mix the palette.
When going to see someone say I do, you should say I won’t distract from the happy couple by committing these sins, instead I’ll let the bridal party shine in all their glory or not.