Tag Archives: mummyblog

In my hand he held my heart

My love
My love

In my hand he held my heart

Silently I was crying inside. But my son’s entourage was an unusually welcomed distraction, deflecting from the highly anticipated event, the first day of school.

No wonder my son looked slightly on edge, with so much build up. I think he was starting to believe that we were giving him to the Missions. It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve said goodbye, but for some reason, this one magnifies that this is the first of many to come.

We all know the stories, but when it’s your own story, it’s raw. And I felt alone.

Well, I would have if my over-the-top, noisy, Italian, and brash father-in-law had allowed me to lament in the moment. But no, he was a running commentator on the day’s event and how my emotions were stacking up. My mother was adding some realism, years of experience as a school teacher; my husband was nonchalant; my mother-in-law was reminded of her boy starting school, but was on a strict warning not to cry, so she looked like she’d sucked a few lemons, straining to hold it together. The circus ensued with the little brother pleading to join the big one. And after a few poses for Facebook, show’s over, and it’s time for school.

In his hand, he held my heart. And we walked on.

I was more nervous than he. Schools do that to you. He hardly spoke, but I knew he was assessing the situation. He does this. And all I wish, is that his teachers get to know him like I do. I haven’t totally lost my sense of reason, he’s still a five year old. I’d have thrown him through the doors when he was two, when the thought of Boarding School didn’t seem so bad, but not today. He is perfect and I won’t be told otherwise.

In my state of delusion, we made it through the grandparents, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and the flash photography. But I saw no one. So consumed by holding his hand and steering him through. There may have been tears and tantrums but we walked silently on.

My nerves grew. I wanted the transition to pass seamlessly. Because you see, I thought he was starting next week and today wasn’t the day for my son to realise that his mother’s still looking for the parenting handbook.

My fly by the seat of your pants approach suits me, but my son needs everything just so. I had to step up and make him as proud of me as I am of him. Ok I got off to a bumpy start, wrong class. Though, I was sure it was that one. The relief when I found his peg and hung up his jacket. If I could have ripped the thing off the wall, I think I would have. I was raw.

Never have I felt so happy yet so sad.

P&RBut there were no tears. I wouldn’t do that to him, I had the rest of the afternoon after all.

And as I’d expected he turned and I let him go. To make new friends, have good days and bad days, dreams and disappointments, and to start making stories of his own.

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And the Oscar goes to…

It’s the 86th Academy Awards, I’m never going to watch the films or the speeches for that matter, but the dresses, the dresses…

And the Oscar goes to…

Very

 

 

 

 

 

Very – the Forever Unique Printed Maxi Dress, £220

Nude and blue printed jersey maxi dress with twist back and wrap waistband detail. This is very unique, showing off your wild side Gwen Stefani style.

 

Very_2

 

 

 

 

 

Very – Key Fashion Princess Dress, £319

Hollywood glamour on the red carpet. The sweetheart neck and embellished bodice will ensure you are a vintage screen siren.

 

 

Coast

 

 

 

 

 

Coast debenhams exclusive – ri ri maxi dress, £220

A folded satin bodice and glamorous all-over sequin skirt make the Ri Ri maxi dress perfect for making an entrance at your next glamorous event.
Oscars 2014
Oscars 2014
Love Felicity Fox
x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I’m not there

It’s not the badge that you wear,
Nor the scroll that you hold,
It’s calling him a star,
It’s who you are.
It’s the time that you give,
The love that you bring,
The heart that you show,
The pain that you hide.
It’s every day that you’re there,
It’s his eyes at your name,
It’s the void that you fill,
When I’m not there.

Thank you.

By Felicity Fox

20120702-222247.jpg

Springtime

Crop & Skirt   Crop & Skirts are this season’s hit. Here’s a few steals…

   Very.co.uk

   Crop Top

    Flash your curves like body confident Kim

     This PU crop top is part of the Kardashian Kollection for Lipsy and is an ultra glam piece to amp up your daytime wardrobe.

£40 for an instant update

Debenhams

Light Blue Butterfly Top

This woven shell top from Red Herring comes in a light blue and grey ombre design with a digital butterfly print.

£30 for the top

Light Blue Butterfly Skirt

Red Herring light blue skirt with digital butterfly print.

Topshop£35 for the skirt.

Topshop

Texture Crop Top and Midi Skirt.

Price for outfit: £77.00

Topshop.co.uk

Love,

Felicity Fox

In my head, I’m in Paris

In my head, I’m in ParisWe'll always have Paris

Can you have it all?

I have a lot but then that depends on who you’re comparing me with.  I love what I have. I admit though, that I’m forever peering over my shoulder, looking for what’s out there. This is a very hard thing to do in my country because at this time of year, it’s heads down and hoods up. It’s freezing and to paraphrase a great Scottish saying, it would freeze the balls off a brass monkey. That sums up the weather for me.

Keeping a positive outlook when you’re shivering head to toe is difficult. But that is not my reality. In my head, I’m in Paris. Even when I’m dragged to my local McDonalds, I’m imagining a chic Paris cafe, ignoring the reality of the fabricated Legoland around me.

I just picture Facebook or Bragbook. And I do like a bit of bragging. I’ve cubs, I can’t help it. They are my greatest success stories. You don’t even need to travel these days. Facebook has a plethora of adventures and I’m relying on these on a wet and windy day in my homeland to get me through the drudgery.

I don’t have it all, but I’m certainly doing it all. It struck me today as I did the first school run; then ran, actually drove, but it felt like running, to university to sit through two hours of employment law, bla bla bla, hurry up! I have another pick up at one. Dash to pick up number two son, before number one son needs collecting; write copy for client; make orders for Felicity Fox; do complex primary one homework; go to McDonalds (it’s healthier than my cooking, don’t judge me); read a chapter, words on a page; write a blog about it all.

Whilst I was mid-moan, Mr Fox interjected to tell me I wasn’t the only one with a frantic schedule. And it got me thinking. I’m not, I know this. But I was the only female in a leading consultancy, in a predominately female workforce, to have children, apart from the boss. She had a child and that never stopped her rising to the top of her profession. But notably, there were no rising mothers behind her.

There are a few of us at law school with children, I think. But it’s not the ideal place to have children. I mean, do you ever see them on Campus or in the Library? It may be a leading University but in this place children are neither seen nor heard.

It’s not about having it all, it’s about doing it all and “we’ll always have Paris.”